|
|
“A gossipper is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and
a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself”
Lisa
Kirk quotes (American Actor, 1925-1990)
|
Wanjiru repeated
a bit of a story she had heard about Mwihaki who was their neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story.
The person it concerned (Mwihaki) was deeply hurt and offended. Later, Wanjiru learnt that the gossip was completely untrue.
She was very sorry and went to a wise man of the village to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go
to the marketplace," the wiseman said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home,
pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised by this advice, Wanjiru did what
she was told. The next day the wise man said, "Now, go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring
them back to me."
Wanjiru followed the same road, but to her dismay the wind had blown all the feathers away.
After searching for hours, she returned with only three feathers in her hand. "You see," said the old wise man,
"It's easy to drop them, but it is impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread
a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong."
Though the word “gossip” does not appear in the Bible,
the concept does. Gossip is called talebearing (Lev. 19:16; Prov. 11:13; 18:8; 20:19; 26:20-22) and backbiting
(Psa. 15:3), which is talking to others about the intimate details of people’s lives for injurious purposes. Gossip
is called being a “Busybody in other Men’s” (1 Pet. 4:5). This means putting one’s nose
in other people’s affairs which are none of my business.
Gossip is called “slander” (Num. 14:36, 37; 2 Sam. 19:27; Prov. 10:18; Jer. 9:4-6; Rom. 3:8;
1 Tim. 3:11). This means to say false things about people, especially with the objective of hurting them. For something to
be slanderous, it must involve deceit and falsehood and an injurious motive. To spread rumors about someone in an attempt
to hurt that person is wicked gossip. We must be extremely careful about passing along things that we hear. If there is any
question about the truthfulness of something, it is essential to verify it from someone who is in a position to know the matter.
Gossip is also called “tattling” (1 Tim. 5:13). This means to prattle on about other people’s lives when
it is none of one’s business and when one has no godly motive for such talk, to gossip.
It is very important, though,
not to confuse gossip with legitimate Christian endeavors. It is not wrong to share truthful things with those who have a
right to such information. For example, it was not gossip for the household of Chloe to tell Paul about the problems in the
church at Corinth (1 Cor. 1:11). As the founder of that church, Paul had a right to know about those problems, and the household
of Chloe were not telling him these things to hurt the Lord’s work but to help it. It is not gossip to talk to a pastor
or Sunday School teacher or deacon about matters in church members’ lives that they should know about. It is not gossip
to talk to a father or mother about matters affecting their children.
It
is not wrong for a Christian to warn another person about a serious problem in a church or organization, so long as the information
is true and the motive is not to hurt but to help and to warn. Oftentimes I have warned people about serious problems with
certain churches that I have known about. That is not gossip and it is not slander. It is not gossip to speak the truth in
love, regardless of how harsh the truth might sound.
It is also not wrong to question a pastor in a humble and godly
manner and to test his teaching by the Scriptures. In fact, we have a responsibility before God to do that. That is not gossip
and it is not wrong. Of course, we always must guard our hearts that we don’t become bitter and that we don’t
develop a bad attitude and then try to hurt the pastor or the church by spreading things around the church membership or community.
We must also use wisdom about such matters. For example, it is not usually wise and proper to question a pastor publicly about
some perceived error or problem. It is best handled in private, at least at first.
Gossip's
main purpose is to spread misery. It's certainly not to build people up or minister to them in the name of Jesus. A gossip's
wake is littered by damaged families and broken relationships: "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates
close friends" (Prov. 16:28).
As we move beyond gossiping
about others, we'll find more time to show them the unconditional love of Jesus. And we might just make a few new friends
in the process. God’s people must guard themselves vigilantly
against these sins. Gossip is extremely damaging. In fact, gossip can destroy a preacher’s effectiveness and can ruin
an entire church.
|
|
