Wounded and Crippled by Betrayals

Four characteristics constitute anyone who possesses them a sheer hypocrite, and anyone who possesses one of them possesses a characteristic of hypocrisy till he abandons it: when he is trusted he betrays his trust, when he talks he lies, when he makes a covenant he acts treacherously and when he quarrels he abuses.

By the time Janet was twelve, her mom regularly sent her in to pleasure her stepfather. If she kept the stepfather happy, her mom was nice to her. As horrible as that was, she used her to keep peace in the family, but also viewed her as "the other woman." she felt betrayed by her mother. Her siblings thought Janet was the favored child. They often pressured her to ask the stepfather for privileges on their behalf. The cost was that she had Sex with him. The siblings despised her, yet they used her to get what they wanted from him. She felt betrayed by her siblings.

When Janet was thirteen, she told the pastor of their church about the abuse. His only question to her was, "How do you know your stepfather is having sex with you?" He did nothing except bring the situation before the elders. The discipline her stepfather received was that he could no longer be a Sunday School teacher. Janet was sent back to a few more years of Hell. She felt betrayed by her Pastor and her church.

When she was fifteen, Janet told a teacher at the Christian school her parents sent her to. He told her that she needed to pray. She prayed and fasted and prayed and fasted. While her friends were out, having free time, just being kids, the teacher had Janet in a small room praying and going without food. When no results occurred, the teacher told Janet that she did not have enough faith. She felt betrayed by her teacher.

Through all of this, Janet developed an eating disorder and became diabetic. She was sexually chaotic, and had a nervous breakdown. She felt like she betrayed herself. Then Questions started ringing in her mind. Where was God? Didn't he love her? Why did she deserve this? Was God mad at her? She felt betrayed by God.

This horrible alienation and strong sense of betrayal messed with Janet in profound ways. Years after the abuse ended, the damage haunted every facet of her life. She found herself wounded and crippled, wondering why she was targeted as the one to be unworthy, unloved, disposable, and abandoned.