When you experience betrayal - it can become a violent crisis of identity. Betrayal and rejection can be overwhelming and greatly disappointing. When betrayal happens, what do you trust? Who do you trust? Do you wonder why it happened to you? Do you wonder where you have failed? Do you think and wonder what to do next? Do you hide, expecting it to happen again?

For many years as a Christian, Dr. Service Tumikia’s expectations were built on what people thought. How they reacted to him. What they did in relationship to him. It seemed that the more he tried to avoid betrayal, the more it happened. Thick heaviness in his mind spoke that all his life and hopes were over - that he could not go on.

 Dr. Tumikia just couldn't believe how mean some Christians were. He would throw his life down to serve them, and then they would come and seemingly try to destroy him. The further into ministry he went, the greater the people problems loomed. Their mean words started to shape Dr. Tumikia’s responses and his expectations. His identity became built on disappointments and sorrow over what other believers had chosen to do or say. People's opinions were more important than what God said for him to do. He was becoming a "people pleaser." Here he had been trying to create unity, love, koinonea, and faithfulness in relationships - and what he really created was a dependency upon people's approval.