If it's very painful
for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the
time to hold your tongue.
~ Alice
Duer Miller
Our
Community has many strong points, and many indications of real spiritual growth. But there are some practical areas to which
we have all paid insufficient attention. One of these is the terrible human tendency to repeat rumour, to draw unsupported
conclusions, and to get disaffected with others until we imagine untrue things about them which we then state to others. I
am not innocent in this area. And neither are any of us (not that this fact in any way comforts me). Let's not pretend that
any of us don't gossip. And let's admit that our ears love to hear gossip.
" The words of a gossip are like choice
morsels; they go down to a man's innermost parts" (Prov. 18:8 NIV)
We tend to dwell
on what we hear very deeply. This is one reason to interrupt a gossiping brother or sister before they go further; for the
words of gossip will go deep down within us, and we will ruminate on them. Gossip in the church is, sadly, becoming a real
sin amongst us. If a community becomes full of gossip, allegation and counter-claims, very soon we will destroy ourselves.
A house divided will fall.
Gossip
is just not words. Proverbs teaches that gossip stirs up dissension; but Prov. 6:12-14 parallels “a corrupt mouth”
with winking with the eye, signaling with the feet, motioning with the fingers (NIV). Our body language is effectively gossip.
A flick of the hands, the slight suggestion of a shrug of the shoulders, a certain glance in the corner of the eye...it all
gives negative messages.
As gossip in the church spreads, it becomes distorted, sometimes horrendously. The result is that when the victim
hears it, they inevitably become angry, and often feel that they cannot associate with their brethren and sisters if such
things are thought about them. They are ashamed, angry because what was said was untrue, and they are tempted to become vindictive
against those whom they hold to be responsible.
In extreme cases, this can lead to resignation from the community. An offended brother is harder to be won
back than a fortified city (Prov. 18:19). But often the result is simply a decreased enthusiasm to attend the meetings, to
break close contact with the brethren and sisters who ought to be our true friends. This results in a community which is cold
and untrusting of each other, with every one of us internalizing our struggles, appearing righteous on the surface but never
opening our hearts. And this also is happening amongst us.
For all concerned, the process of gossip and counter-claiming all saps real spirituality
out of us. We have enough wonderful things to contemplate: the supremacy of the love of Christ, far above our human knowledge;
the sublime intricacy of God's word and character; the fulfillment of prophecy; the wonder of our Hope. These things ought
to fill our thinking- and our conversation with each other. If they don't, and gossip in the church becomes the main diet
of our conversation, something is very seriously wrong with us. We only have a few years at most (probably far less) to sort
ourselves out before we will stand before the judgment seat of Christ. We need to be using every moment.
A story is told of Karuana who was the church
gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the church's morals. She kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several
church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused
Wanjohi, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to Wanjohi and others that everyone seeing it there would know that he was an alcoholic.
Wanjohi, a man of few words, stared at her for
a moment and just walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, Wanjohi, quietly parked his pickup in front of Sarah's
house and left it there all night.
You can see what happened when Wanjohi heard it, he inevitably became angry, and he must have felt that that
he cannot associate with Karuana if she is thinking such things about him. He must have been ashamed, angry because what was
said was untrue, and that is why he was tempted to become vindictive against Karuana.
GOD HELP US TO TALK TO PEOPLE BUT NOT ABOUT PEOPLE--- AMEN
