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Relationship Corner |
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TRUE
LOVE Many have been in a loving marriage for a number of years, but there are a lot of fakers along the way. There are seen men and women in beautiful, long lasting relationships. One couple had been married for 62 years, and even so, the love was so apparent between them, that it warmed the heart. There have also been men and women who play far too many games with one another, the cause of constant turmoil and struggle. TRUE VS. FAKE LOVE.
The main mistake people make when entering relationships is thinking about what they can gain and not what they can
give. Certainly, we should know for what reasons we desire companionship, but we must remember that we are bringing another
human being into our circle, complete with their own experiences, points of view, ideas, wants and needs. It's not about having
steady sex, or financial security-it is about being able to talk, even twenty-five years into a relationship.
There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than just candles, bubble baths,
and foot massages. You each have to work at it in order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life.
The Bible provides several examples of marriage by people with
a difference in age gap, and one of them is between Ruth and Boaz. Ruth is one of the few people in the Bible with no recorded
sin, and she goes down into history following the genealogical line of our Lord Jesus Christ (Matthew 1:5). In Ruth 3:9-11,
the Bible records Boaz's evaluation of Ruth and expressed Boaz's willingness to take Ruth in marriage: He said, "Who
are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth your maid. So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative."
Then he said, "May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first
by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. "Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask,
for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence. I believe God designed marriage as an instrument to make us more like Christ. In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas asks this question, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" Is it possible that there is something much more profound in the heart of God than simply to make us happy? Can we lay down our own ambitions to love and serve our spouse? Through marriage we can learn about unconditional love, respectful honor, how to forgive and be forgiven. We can see our shortcomings and grow from that insight. We can develop a servant's heart, and draw closer to God. As a result, true soul happiness can be discovered, and this, I believe is one of God's ultimate desires and purposes for designing the covenant of marriage.
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 by Danson Mwaniki, MDiv.
Statistics compiled by AARP The Magazine back up the trend. A whopping 34 percent of women over 40 are dating younger men, according to a 2003 survey. The same poll, which surveyed 3,500 single people (both women and men) aged 40 to 69 years old, found that 56 percent are currently separated or divorced from a spouse, 31 percent have never been married, and seven in 10 (74 percent) of formerly married singles in their 50s have been single for five years or more. The study stated that the divorce rate now, compared to when cougars were married some 25 years ago, has contributed to the amount of single, 50+ women, said to be “on the prowl” in today’s dating pool. 
Paul Muli, 25, recently tied the knot to multi-millionaire- Ruth Wanjiru, 31 years his senior. The couple formalised their three-year relationship in a lavish ceremony in Rock City Hotel in the presence of 250 invited guests, including Wanjiru’s son, 34 and daughter, 23. They wedded on the poolside surrounded by lush gardens. "I love my new husband very much and I am so happy that God has answered my prayers after waiting for so long," gushed the bride. She planted a generous
kiss on Mr Muli’s cheeks as guests broke into spontaneous applause. Interestingly, Wanjiru’s daughter, Sarah, was one
of the bridesmaids. She appeared happy. "I am also very happy for my mom now has a husband to comfort and keep her company.
I think they make a very nice couple," she said. Muli’s mother, Hellen, approved her son’s move, saying she believed
the couple was sincerely in love. "The age difference between the two doesn’t matter. I have faith that they will
live together," she said.
How We Fell in Love Paul leans towards his wife, whom
he fondly refers to as ‘my queen’. She lets out a chuckle and holds his hand as they both take the journey down
memory lane.
In November 2007, Ruth, who is a Jew and deeply religious, took a three-day prayer and fasting retreat to Mt Kenya . Her agenda: Asking God for a man because she was very lonely. Back in Nairobi, she visited her friend Pauline at her African wear boutique at 680 Hotel. As Ruth was sharing her story, two men walked in — one of them, a lean, dreadlocked fellow. He looked Ruth straight in the eye, flashed a business card and gave her in a lingering handshake. He asked her to call him sometime, and then walked out. Love at first sight "Wow! What a pleasantly arrogant man!" the women in the shop exclaimed. The man had not as much as glanced at the other three women in there.  Paul gives his side of the story: "My pal and I had come from 680 Hotel and I was going
to buy a shirt. Walking in, I spotted this beautiful woman and, intuitively, I acted. I did not even buy the shirt." Ruth, on her part, believes in love at first sight. She believes that she can judge someone’s soul at a glance and that she discerned that Paul was a good man. Had her prayers been answered? She says: "When Paul locked eyes with me, I saw he was kind and humble — just the kind of man I had been praying for. When he asked me to call him, I blushed. I was so shocked and scared because I knew that if I called him, he would sweep me off my feet."
Former Vice President Al Gore and his wife Tipper said
Tuesday that they have decided to separate. What happenned? “We
are announcing today that after a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate,” the Gores said
in an email to friends. “This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following
a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend
to comment further.”
The separation was confirmed to CNN by Gore spokeswoman Kalee Kreider. The Gores were married in 1970 and have four grown
children. Vice President Al Gore served alongside former President Bill Clinton in the White House from 1993 until 2001. Gore
lost his own bid for president in 2000. He served in Congress before Clinton picked him to be his running mate in the 1992
race for the White House. In recent years, the former vice president has become a leading voice warning about the dangers
of global warming. |
Did
Paul not see that she was considerably older, and not the likely match for her? What motivated him to make a move? "I
was overwhelmed by her beauty. At that moment, I did not notice her age," he remembers. Well, after the episodic meeting
Ruth went about her business. She developed strong feelings for the bold stranger. She narrates: "I would think of him
every minute. I was confused and it was not until three weeks later that I gathered courage to call and ask that we meet for
a chat." They wanted it to be a private affair, so they met in her car to talk. At one moment, a
disappointed Paul reached for the door and made to leave. Says Ruth: "He said that he wanted a simple woman whom he could love, marry and live
with." Paul says that he realised that Ruth was wealthy, and that this would always stumble their love. He explains:
"I did not want her to think I was after her money." A real estate developer, Ruth owns among other residential property, Mt Kenya Herbal Centre that has 14 branches around the country. "Looking at her stature, I wondered why she had no man in her life.
As I was walking out, she held my hand and said she would prove me wrong," says Paul. Ruth confronted him with her fears;
that he was leaving because of their age difference, but he vehemently denied. Paul interjects: "I told her she did not
look that old and we should give love a chance." From
there, their relationship grew fast — they would, spend a lot of time together. "Paul and I went around Mt Kenya, and prayed for our relationship. I prayed to God that he may lock this man down
for me," says Ruth. Paul reveals that he told God to "Punish her if she is using me!" They both laugh uproariously
with their hands clutched together. As with every relationship, theirs had its upheavals. Early 2009, Ruth
told Paul she needed a break. They parted ways for about four months. She says: "Paul has been the
driving force in our relationship. At that time, I was insecure. Each minute he was away, I would panic. Of course being a handsome, classy man does not hurt his chances with women.
Plus he owns a modelling agency." But Paul convinced her she was the only woman in his life. During the
separation, Ruth could not concentrate in her work, and she took a break and went to her sprawling farm in Namanga where she
plants trees. She recalls: "I could not sleep. My heart would thump uncontrollably and I would take
Aloe Vera and Omega 3 pills in the middle of the night to sooth it." Then, when she
came back to Nairobi, Paul called and they got back together again. "As he lay beside me that night, my heart did not thump; I slept soundly…" Paul says: "She had told me about her problem, about how she worried
whenever I left her. There and then I told her that I wanted to marry her. It was the grand finale." But it was on December 27, last year, when Paul officially popped the
question. They had gone back to the mountain to pray, and he proposed at the height of their love. "I said a big Yes!" says Ruth. Their families are supportive. Paul’s
mother says that he is a grown up man who can make his own decisions and that if he is happy, no one should interfere. Ruth’s
children are grown up, and they say they are happy that finally their mother has found a soul mate. |
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