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by Danson Mwaniki, MDiv.
Statistics compiled by AARP The Magazine back up the trend. A whopping 34 percent of
women over 40 are dating younger men, according to a 2003 survey. The same poll, which surveyed 3,500 single people (both
women and men) aged 40 to 69 years old, found that 56 percent are currently separated or divorced from a spouse, 31 percent
have never been married, and seven in 10 (74 percent) of formerly married singles in their 50s have been single for five years
or more.
The study
stated that the divorce rate now, compared to when cougars were married some 25 years ago, has contributed to the amount of
single, 50+ women, said to be “on the prowl” in today’s dating pool.
Paul Muli, 25, recently
tied the knot to multi-millionaire- Ruth Wanjiru, 31 years his senior. The couple formalised their three-year relationship
in a lavish ceremony in Rock City Hotel in the presence of 250 invited guests, including Wanjiru’s son, 34 and daughter,
23. They wedded on the poolside surrounded by lush gardens. "I love my new husband very much and I am so happy that God
has answered my prayers after waiting for so long," gushed the bride. She planted a generous kiss on Mr Muli’s
cheeks as guests broke into spontaneous applause. Interestingly, Wanjiru’s daughter, Sarah, was one of the bridesmaids. She appeared
happy. "I am also very happy for my mom now has a husband to comfort and keep her company. I think they make a very nice
couple," she said. Muli’s mother, Hellen, approved her son’s move, saying she believed the couple was sincerely in
love. "The age difference between the two doesn’t matter. I have faith that they will live together," she
said.
Falling in love doesn't always
happen the way women expect. Sometimes Mr. Right arrives late and shows up several years younger. One woman who says she found
the love of her life in a younger man is Grammy Award-winning singer Gladys Knight, who knew her husband, William McDowell,
for 14 years before they started dating.
Whenever she went to La Costa Resort and Spa in Carlsbad, Calif., she enjoyed talking to McDowell,
who was the spa's director. "I never allowed myself to be more than a good friend," says Knight, who describes herself
as old-fashioned and non-aggressive. "We were each waiting for the other to make the first move."
When
Knight divorced for the third time, McDowell, who was also divorced, said he felt badly that her marriage didn't work out,
but told her that she should have married him in the first place. "You didn't ask me," said Knight, who at the time
was 56 and assumed McDowell was in his mid 30s. ", you don't want an old woman like me. You can have any young girl you
want."There are numerous Hollywood examples of younger men who are drawn to older women: Ashton Kutcher, Tim Robbins
and David Arquette, to name just a few. There seems to be a trend with women in their mid- to late-thirties or older dating
much younger men. Many women in their thirties and forties will be the first to tell you that they feel more attractive than
when they were younger. And, men notice!
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The Bible provides several examples of marriage by people with
a difference in age gap, and one of them is between Ruth and Boaz. Ruth is one of the few people in the Bible with no recorded
sin, and she goes down into history following the genealogical line of our Lord Jesus Christ (Matthew 1:5). In Ruth 3:9-11,
the Bible records Boaz's evaluation of Ruth and expressed Boaz's willingness to take Ruth in marriage: He said, "Who
are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth your maid. So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative."
Then he said, "May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first
by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. "Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask,
for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence.
From the verses mentioned above, it can be noted
there is a gap in the difference between the age of Boaz and Ruth. Boaz calls Ruth "my daughter" and commended her
for not "going after young men." The honor resulting from this marriage is to be recorded in history as part of
the Savior's family line.
Marriage in the real world is not about age differences, it is about honoring
God. There is no failed marriage if we do all things to honor God! I believe God designed marriage as an instrument to make us more like Christ.
In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas asks this question, "What if God designed marriage to
make us holy more than to make us happy?" Is it possible that there is something much more profound in
the heart of God than simply to make us happy? Can we lay down our own ambitions to love and serve our spouse? Through marriage
we can learn about unconditional love, respectful honor, how to forgive and be forgiven. We can see our shortcomings and grow
from that insight. We can develop a servant's heart, and draw closer to God. As a result, true soul happiness can be discovered,
and this, I believe is one of God's ultimate desires and purposes for designing the covenant of marriage. |
